dear whom it may concern,

one time I was on a flight to Singapore and as I took my aisle seat on the hefty 747, the flight attendant, who had a thick german accent, tucked me in like a little baby girl and gave me three dvds to choose from. “enjoy, little vun,” she said. the first was Free Willy, grandma's fave, hard pass. too sad. the second was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. strange that there was a “Willy” theme going on there. i was already feeling nervous about going to Singapore where fun and candy wrappers are not allowed, so, no thanks. another pass. finally there was Total Recall, the perfect movie. i watched it two times through on the flight and nearly perfected my Arnold accent. it changed my life forever. my favorite scene from the movie is when Arnold —nay, Douglas Quaid— attempts to pass through Mars security dressed in drag. the helmet disguised as an old lady’s head begins to malfunction giving his costume away and alerting the security of a problem. Quaid removes the defective robot head and as it spasms and shorts, the repeating recording continues to play out of the pale robot mouth. “two weeks…twWooOo weEeEks,” it utters. Quaid throws the head at security and it explodes, allowing for a quick escape.

anyway, this grocer is my favorite spot in all of West Texas. there's specialty coffee, guitars humming, natural wine, wild tales of youth, chocolate chip cookies with hunkin' hunks of chocolaté, the best breakfast bacon burrito i've ever had in my several lives, and, of course, true love. everyone is welcome here so strap yourselves in to your early 2000s green dodge caravan with the skateboard stickers on the bumper and head over here before those burritos run out, you punk.